(A Sibling Adventure Starring Me, Andy, and Several Near‑Death Experiences)

If you ever want to test the strength of your sibling bond, forget escape rooms or trust falls. Just go to Nicaragua with a backpack, a loose plan, and a brother named Andy who will later lose half the skin on his leg. That’ll do it.

Our 2011 trip began in Managua, a city with a reputation so intense it should come with its own theme music. We landed, looked around, and immediately understood why every guidebook used the phrase “exercise caution” like it was punctuation.

The Chicken Bus to Granada: A Cultural Experience (and Possibly a Health Hazard)

From Managua, we boarded a chicken bus — the kind of bus that looks like it retired from American school service in 1987 and has been living its best, most chaotic life ever since. It rattled, it shook, it honked at everything including clouds, and it was packed with people, produce, and possibly a chicken or two.

Andy and I clung on, sweating, laughing, and trying not to fall out of the open door.

Granada: Where I Was Nearly Run Over by a Horse & Cart

Granada is beautiful — colourful colonial buildings, a lively square, and apparently a strong local tradition of watching tourists embarrass themselves.

As we arrived, my rucksack slipped off my shoulder, fell under a passing horse and cart, and I lunged after it like a Victorian woman chasing her runaway hat. The horse snorted, the cart wobbled, the locals laughed, and Andy pretended he didn’t know me.

It was… a memorable entrance.

The Bearded Monkey Hostel: Five Dollars of Pure Luxury

We checked into The Bearded Monkey, a hostel so cheap it felt like a social experiment. My room was a concrete box, with a mattress on the floor and a slit in the wall pretending to be a window. It was basically a prison cell, but with better vibes.

For five dollars a night, I wasn’t complaining. Much.

Mauricio the Guide: Ziplining, Friendship & My Sudden Cowardice

In Granada we met Mauricio, a guide who instantly became our friend — the kind of guy who knows everyone, everything, and every shortcut.

He took us ziplining, which sounded fun until I was actually standing on the platform, staring into the abyss. Andy clipped in and flew off like a hero. I… did not.

I chickened out.
Completely.
Zero regrets.

Mauricio pretended not to judge me. I appreciated that.  Andy did not!!

Laguna d’Apoyo: Swimming in a Volcano – As you do !!!

Next stop: Laguna d’Apoyo, a lake inside a volcanic crater surrounded by lush green hills. It was peaceful, warm, and stunning — the kind of place that makes you forget you nearly died under a horse 48 hours earlier.

San Juan del Sur: Waiting for a Turtle from Peru

From there we headed to San Juan del Sur, a beach town famous for sunsets, surfing, and turtles.

One evening, we joined a group waiting for a turtle to arrive from Peru (yes, Peru — apparently this turtle had a long commute). We waited for hours being bitten by thousands of mosquitos. The turtle did eventually show up and bury its eggs but would I do it again? No!!!!

Ometepe Island: Volcanoes, Bikes & Volcanic Springs

Ometepe was next — an island made of two volcanoes, which is frankly showing off.

We rented bikes and toured the island, pedalling through villages, forests, and a banana plantation that felt like the set of a survival movie. Eventually we reached a volcanic spring, where we cooled off and pretended we were much fitter than we actually were.

León & Volcano Boarding: The Day Andy Lost Half His Leg Skin

From Ometepe we travelled to León, home of the legendary Cerro Negro volcano boarding.

Imagine sledding down a volcano made of black gravel at high speed. Now imagine doing that with questionable balance and a brother who thinks he’s invincible.

Andy launched himself down the slope at such speed that he lost control of the board and the black volcanic gravel removed all the skin from his leg. He looked like he’d been attacked by an industrial cheese grater.

He was fine. Eventually.

Back to Managua: Rum, Regret & Sibling Bonding

We ended the trip back in Managua, drinking copious amounts of cheap rum, partly to celebrate surviving the journey and partly to disinfect Andy’s leg from the inside out.

It was chaotic, hilarious, occasionally painful, and absolutely unforgettable.